Have you ever said these to your child atleast once?

"Be sportive while playing"
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Then take a minute to read this.
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Last evening I was playing UNO cards with my son. It was the moment where I would have won, but in a flip the scenario changed where I had to lose back to back. This was a little infuriating to me and my inner child was so so keen to win, just like any other child will feel like.
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After a while, I had to realize that I had told my son, umpteen times to be sportive while playing, which he doesn't buy from me at all. How can he? When I have seen so many things in life and still not able to accept my loss, how can a child take it sportive with whole heart?
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Are we sportive
-when our boss says something ?
-when our spouse does something?
-when our neighbor pulls our leg?
-when the society points at you?
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A big NO. And we are still learning that art of being sportive.
So, is it not fair to give ample time and space for the young children to internalize this skill at their own pace?
Instead of saying, "be sportive ", the comfort of "I understand you" "it's ok" , you give your children will help them deal with these situations in a better way.
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Happy parenting!

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The power of positive thoughts

Let me share an incident that happened two days back. With this Corona lockdown, the kiddos at home are a little unruly. And we got this saviour game - Dhayakattai/ Dhayam/ Ludo, to keep them engaged in a better way. My son is so addicted to this game that he monoplays it when the dawn breaks.

When it was our family time to play this game, we found the dice were missing. My little boy had misplaced the dice somewhere and all of us started searching the entire house in and out. What would be the probability of success in finding the material of the probability game? FYI, it was not in the usual places it has to be.

The minute, I started searching I had a negative thought of having lost the dice already. The nature of most of the human beings!! Then, there was a sudden flash of on how I was thinking. I tried to refine and reframe my thoughts to "in two minutes we will get the dice for sure". Trust me. The thoughts do impact our life. We got the dice in less than 2 mins. He had placed it in the toy box.

This could be a matter of least importance. However, we all know that small drops make an ocean. Start the practice of being positive with small deeds..one fine day, this will become your habit and thus your positive lifestyle.

Learning from little things and mistakes!!

When the mother turns a child...

I had planned to leave my son at his granny's place during this Corona Vacation. I had made some preparatory work to drill his mind, to stay without the parents, as this is the first time, he is gonna experience it. Either one of us were there for all these six years. Even after the extensive mental preparation, he was not ok to stay alone with grandparents and his cousins. So, I decided not to force him.

The day when we started from our hometown, seems there was a sudden flash on his mind and he backed to stay back at granny’s place. This was a shock for me without any drill activity to MY MIND. I just couldn’t take the fact that this little boy was not sitting on my lap and irritating me throughout the travel. For the next 1 hour, my thoughts were around him. Will he manage without us, what if he cries, what if he longs for us and so on.. The typical and conservative motherly feel..

But then, I had to overcome this strange feel. Anyways, this is what I had planned for.. and what now???  I started looking at the better side of this social distancing with son. The selftime – All for myself.. I can do my work without any disturbance, quality partner time, dependency free days and so on..

My Realization: I have to grow up a lot before saying something to my child.

Stay strong with books

The last 3 to 4 years have really been emotionally and mentally challenging for me, for my own reasons. What made me fight against those hard days and gave me a breathing space?? It is the books that I read through those days and a few positive affirmations which I conceived, again through the books. So, I was wondering on how I acquired the skill of reading books. And I was surprised to know its roots have begun when I was 7-8 years old. Those were the days, when me and my brothers used to listen to my dad’s athai, Dhanam Paati’s stories (the same 7 mountain, 7 seas, and a parrot story and, various other Raja stories). The way she narrated the story, we could see the scene with all colourful background, music and all the necessary elements it all needed.

That powerful narration had set a fire in me to read my mom's story books like Malaimathi subscriptions, newspaper supplements and even the newspaper wrapper on the groceries (Kandhai padipavan kavignan avaan endru enni).

I still remember that I used to await my neighbour’s (Dhans Anna) visit from Chennai as he used to get us Ananda Vikatan and Kumudam for us. The one and only medium of entertainment and news for me then. Later, dad thought we should excel in English and he bought us Hindu newspaper, India Today and Reader's Digest. Believe me, nothing worked out. But, I was only keen on Hindu’s Young World to solve some puzzles.

A few years passed with random books like Swiss family Robinson, Black Beauty, Adventures of Robinhood, Agni Siragugal and so on. Then, stepping into college life, I was strictly given training to read all Ramani Chandran, Balakumaran and Sidney Sheldon novels (thanks to Mathura J).

After this, there was a break for a couple of years and I resumed it with Vairamuthu’s Karuvachi Kaviyam. This is when I developed interest for Tamil novels and especially historical novels like Ponniyin Selvan, one of the best and most brilliant novels I have ever read.

As I mentioned earlier, the books which helped me to hold myself strong were some of the self-improving books, such as, How to get from where you are to where you want to be, Rich Dad Poor Dad, Power of sub-conscious mind, Alpha dhyanam and Power of positive thinking. These books have really made me to study and analyse my thoughts and emotions to transform me into a better person. This acquired knowledge/skill has made me battle against my emotional roller coasters, mental disturbances, physical issues, financial troubles and what not?? All thanks to those self-improving books and my mentors Sathya Vantheymataram and Ananthi Ragupathy for introducing those books to me.

#Moral of my bookish story#

Read books, be accompanied, engaged, knowledgeable and relaxed. Do not wait for someone to help you, and it's only you to help yourself. Stay happy and positive.

Loads of love from Anitha Bharathi 😀😀😀😀

The innocent and inquisitive Yashwanth

I have always been amazed by my son's curiosity of knowing things better. Here are a few inquisitive episodes of my son. 

An instance five months back..

It was a time, when my son was getting addicted to the mobile phone, watching all the educational videos and rhymes. This is undeniably a typical situation across all the new generation families. Irrespective of the age, babies to grannies are going digital. In fact, I would not be surprised to see the pets going digital in some years (Digital India DA!!).

Considering his mental and physical health, I decided to cut down the screen time to one hour per day. (A recent study says, ideal amount of screen time is 45 to 60 minutes per day). Though, my son knows A to Z on the mobile phone, I have deliberately made him unaware about the switch to turn on and off the router. So, when I turn off the router, the three lights on the router go off. Every now and then he keeps an eye on the router to check if the lights are back, without knowing that there is a switch to be switched on. I find this technique more easier to keep him away from the screen. (Healthy cheating in parenthood is allowed, according to Anitha’s law of parenting).

When I turn off the router, I have to cook up my own stories to narrate, as to why the internet connection is down. Such stories are, maintenance work is going on, internet guys have gone on vacation to Kodaikanal, I have not paid the bill yet and hence the disconnection. Every day, a new lie, sorry story.

On one fine day, he was back from the school. The good boy refreshed himself and had his lunch quickly. He was getting ready for his screen time and was allowed to watch for an hour. Later, I had turned off the router. As usual he was asking me for a reason. The story teller inside me said, “There was a crow which sat on the internet wire and now the wire has been broken and disconnected. So, please wait until the internet guys fix it”. He left the place without uttering a word and he was totally engrossed in setting up railway track and building blocks. After an hour or so he rushed to me and asked in a very innocent tone, “Amma, why is this crow sitting on the wireline. Doesn’t it have a sofa set at home??” I just burst out laughing and hugged him for his innocence. Then I had to explain him about the stone age and the civilization of how we got house arrested with the sophistications. At least, let the crows live under the sky unlike us living under a roof.

Another recent incident-

We hired a cab from Royapetah to Velachery. Whatever strikes his sight will be a question to us. Just imagine!!  It will take at least 30 to 45 minutes to reach our destination. He was all set to throw questions at us. It started with Metro train running underground, aeroplane, bridge construction, 2.0, etc and finally AMBUR STAR Biriyani, a restaurant which was recently opened in our locality. As we were crossing the restaurant, he was on the top of his voice shouting, “Amma, Star biriyani!!!”. (En inamada nee :) )

That moment something struck his mind and the conversation went like -

Yash: Amma, what will be there in Star biriyani??

Me and Hubby: (Throwing a silly-boy look at him) Biryani

Yash: That I know. What will be there in that biryani??

Me: Mutton

Yash: How come mutton in Star Biryani.. Star has to be there right? In Chicken Biryani we have chicken and in Mutton Biryani we have mutton and in Star biryani??

LOGICAL REASONING!! Maybe his left brain is developing well.

The cab driver, who was enjoying his solitude throughout the drive, was laughing out loud. Yash broke his silence. (KIDS CAN BREAK ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. So, keep the expensive items out of their reach.)

The art of asking questions never ends.. It continues with - 

1.    Why Amma you don’t have mustache and beard

2.    Why is it getting dark in the evening

3.    Where was this sun the whole night

4.    Why do we have black and white portions in eyes

5.    Why is my dad so tall and my uncle is short

6.    Why crescent moon has C shape

Even if I try to answer all his questions, he tries to frame another question from the previous answer. He is definitely not OK with a one word answer, and keeps pestering me until I give him a big lecture. He has reached a state of asking questions, even without a subject, head, tail, noun, adjective.. Heights of Learning!!

I know everyone will have such similar stories. Let us all encourage our kids to ask many more questions. Let the neurons of our child's brain be well connected with our factual answers. The first five years play a vital role in a child's brain development. Attention, eye contact, smile, touch and love - are the ones required for the brain development and not the expensive toys. Let's be our child’s toy. 

Happy Parenting and Q&A session with your child!!

Journey of Motherhood to Happy Motherhood!!

When a child is born, a MOTHER is born too!! Motherhood is a state which cannot be elaborated in words but it can only be experienced. Thankyou Yashwanth (my son) for making me experience the motherhood. I am here to share my experiences how this motherhood has transformed me personally and professionally.

Well, I am a proud mother of a five years old son cum mentor. Certainly, a mentor, because each kid is a parent to the parents. The life lessons which I learn from him can only be learnt by sitting under the Bodhi tree. My journey with Happy Motherhood started when my son was 5 months old in the womb. It was declared to be a complicated pregnancy, post Anomaly scan. I was totally dejected to know that the complication hits one in 500 women. Why me?? Nevertheless, I somehow managed to pacify myself.

My sister-in-law suggested me to talk to her neighbour, Mrs. Ananthi Ragupathy, Founder of Happy Motherhood. I did not force myself to talk to anyone as I was in my own world. However, Ananthi herself made an attempt to call me and we spoke hardly for 30 minutes. That phone call was indeed a boost for me! It would be no exaggeration to say that, my pregnancy season to be termed as Pre-Ananthi trimester and Post-Ananthi trimester. That was the impact of positive vibes she passed on to me. A good start to my true motherhood!

Days were passing on and I started concentrating on my work. I worked for a Bangalore-based firm which is into oil & gas sector. I was compensated with highest series of five-digit salary. Well paid and women-friendly job in a happening and cool city. What else is needed for a married woman in the late twenties. Life was all smooth and settled until I delivered my little champ. As expected and visualised, I did not face any problem during delivery (Power of positive thoughts and vibes acquired from Happy Motherhood). If not for Happy Motherhood, I would have had fearful pregnancy which would have had its own negative influences on my son. 

A few months later, I had to re-join office. As every other first-time-mom, I was reluctant to take up the job again. I was just not ready to leave my tiny boy, who will need me every hour. Was that the only reason? Not at all.. It's all a master plan of the nature. Yes, I was trapped in the deep motherly love for my boy. Who will not fall for her own baby?? And I am so glad to say that I was no exception to this scenario.

So, what did I do? I chose to resign the job and stay at home to give my son the love, the warmth and values which I would not be able to buy from anywhere with the money I earn. (Undoubtedly, Philosophy #1, :P). As days passed on, I was not the same lovable and energetic mom. My life had become very monotonous with no challenges to face. I could feel the void inside my mind and soul. There was a spark which made me realise that I have lost the career. Did I make a mistake resigning the job?? Weren’t the other new-gen mothers balancing both work and life. Then why wouldn't I? Gave a shot to few interviews. Fortunately, nothing fruitful happened then. At times, I used to show the frustration on my boy saying that he was the reason for me losing the career. (Philosophy #2 God has his own plan and he is the best script writer and screenplay editor. So, wait for it.)

In the meantime, I moved to Chennai, another happening city for all the classes of people. Sitting idle at home was making me crazy like hell. One fine day, I happened to message Happy Motherhood group on WhatsApp, asking for job opportunities. Immediately, Ananthi texted me personally, if I would be interested to take up Franchisee of Happy Motherhood. What an opportunity and responsibility?? I always wanted to become an entrepreneur and a public speaker. So, why will I miss this double dhamaka opportunity. Without any second thought I said a YES! (Philosophy # 3 Believe in God/Universe. You will get what you deserve to get).

Though it took years together to materialize, now I am an ENTREPRENEUR - Franchise of Happy Motherhood in Velachery. This is not just a money-making job for me, but my passion as well. Immense self-satisfaction is the best compensation, one would receive for any job it matters. And I receive it with pride.

I am writing this just to motivate many such first time mothers who have lost the career because of motherhood. There is nothing to be worried about. God/Universe has a plan for us. Have a strong belief on this. You will be communicated through some means on what you are good at, strong at and capable of. Grab it and be thankful for what you have. We can definitely make a living out of our passion. Making your passion as your profession would be the best thing to do on the earth. Let’s live our own and single LIFE. Let us all celebrate the motherhood and at the same time let us not forget women empowerment!

Motherhood made me lose my job and Happy Motherhood made me an Entrepreneur. Thankyou Happy Motherhood and Yashwanth. You made it possible for me.

Paanjalai akka

Paanjalai akka - The maid who works at my in-law's place..

Though I have known her for months together, today there was something in her that attracted me.. Yes!!! The smile, the energy and the attitude she carries is remarkable. She has her own tragic story with a drunkard husband, two mentally-retarded teenage girls and a carefree son. Only I call her life to be tragic. However, she understands and handles it well (To my surprise she never took any counselling session from a family counselor).

What keeps her driving??

She starts to work at 6 am every morning.. Then who will take care of the needs at her home?? Trust me. It's the same drunkard husband. He does everything from cooking to cleaning. I don't see any gender-based employment discrimination. Shouldn't we (society) celebrate this gender equality.

Dedicated to dual-career couples. Let us celebrate each other for what the partner is good at!!

P.S: My blogs are not to show my literature or writing skills😃, but to kindle the emotions and thoughts unnoticed within us😏.. Let's make the society a better place to live in🙏.